Metamorphosis
Tad Webster jogged up the outdoor stairs to the second floor apartment he shared with his older brother, Spider. Slamming the door behind him, he called out,
“Hey, Spider. I’m starving! It’s your night to cook so I hope you made something tasty.” He sniffed appreciatively. “So far, so good.”
Spider, barefoot and clad in scruffy jeans, dark hair mussed from an afternoon nap, poked his head out of the kitchen.
“Hold your horses, Tad.” He pointed a wooden spoon at his brother. “Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes. In the meantime, run down to the laundry room and throw in a load of towels. I meant to do it earlier but fell asleep.”
Tad grinned. “Oh, you’re making me work for my meals now. Is this how it’s going to be?”
“I gave up on that years ago,” mumbled Spider as he disappeared back into the kitchen.
Tad went to his room where he tore off his work shirt that bore the logo of the Sleepyside Community Center and tossed it on top of a clothes basket full of dirty towels. After pulling on a wrinkled t-shirt, Tad grabbed the basket of laundry and headed out the front door. When he returned a few minutes later, he snagged a cold beer from the refrigerator, went into the living room and settled down in front of the tv, intent on catching the latest sports update.
“Hey, wait a minute,” said Spider as he came into the room. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” Frowning, Tad turned down the volume.
Clearing his throat, Spider sat down in the worn recliner across from his brother.
“Ooh,” teased Tad. “This must be a doozy. You have your ‘don’t mess with me, I’m a cop look’ on your face.”
Rolling his eyes, Spider exhaled loudly. “Come on, Tad. This is serious.”
“What’s serious?” Tad took a swig of his beer then looked at his brother expectantly.
“I don’t know how to say this.” Spider shifted and fidgeted in his seat.
“How about just spitting it out.”
“Okay. Well, you know I’ve been seeing Tracy.”
Tad nodded. “Yeah.”
Spider shifted in his chair. “So, well now things have changed a bit for us.”
“Changed? What does that mean?” Tad’s eyes flickered back and forth between the television and his brother.
Spider took a deep breath. “She’s pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” Tad paused for only a brief minute before breaking into a roaring laugh.
“What’s so funny?” demanded Spider indignantly.
“You.” Tad was laughing so hard that he almost spilled his beer across the cluttered coffee table.
“I fail to see the humor in this situation,” replied Spider testily.
“Oh, come on,” protested Tad. “How many million times did you tell me to be careful, to always use protection, blah, blah, blah. And now, you’re the one who got his girlfriend pregnant.”
“Yeah, well, heaven forbid I’d have to raise you and your baby.” Spider glared at his younger brother. “Like you were a walk in the park!”
Tad settled down but his eyes still sparkled with mirth. “I wasn’t that bad.”
“Said the boy who had to have everything his way,” grumbled Spider.
“So, what are you and Tracy going to do now?”
Spider opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the timer buzzing on the stove. “Dinner’s ready.” He stood up and headed toward the kitchen. “We’ll finish this conversation over dinner.”
“I wouldn't miss it for anything.” Smirking, Tad followed his brother into the kitchen and took his seat at the small pedestal table that occupied one corner.
Spider pulled a bubbling chicken enchilada casserole from the oven and placed it in the center of the table. After grabbing his own beer, he joined Tad. The two piled their plates with the steaming concoction, then dug in.
“So…?” Tad reached for a paper napkin and wiped a glob of gooey cheese off his chin. “What are you two going to do?”
Spider hesitated slightly. “To start, we’re going to move in together.”
“Great! We can divide the chores even more.” Tad shoveled another forkful of food into his mouth.
Spider looked at Tad in disbelief. “No. No. Tracy and I are getting our own place so the baby can have his own room. Also, we want an outdoor space where he can play.”
“Him? He? Is it a boy?”
Spider shook his head. “We don’t know that yet.”
Tad nodded thoughtfully. “I guess having more space for the baby is a good idea. I was afraid you’d want to have him share a room with me.” Tad put another bite of food into his mouth. “A baby probably needs his own room, especially if he cries at night.”
“Tracy and I think that too. We’ve even been talking about how we want to decorate baby Webster’s room.”
Tad grinned. “Don’t look now but you sound pretty stoked about this baby.”
“To be honest, I am. Yeah, it’s a bit unexpected but I’m not upset. Not at all. Finally, after so long, there’s something good happening to the Webster brothers.”
Tad grinned. “I agree. So, are you and Tracy planning on getting married?”
A faint smile tugged at the corners of Spider’s mouth as his head bobbed up and down. “Yeah. But it’s going to take at least a couple months to pull together the kind of wedding she wants.”
“Do you have that much time?”
Spider shrugged. “Hopefully, but you never know. I suppose it’s possible the baby could actually be part of our wedding party.”
“Have you officially popped the question?” Tad grabbed another napkin to wipe up the salsa he had dripped on the table.
“No. I’m planning on doing that this weekend. Look.” Spider dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a small box. He opened it and slid it across the table.
Tad studied the two small rings that lay inside; one had a small diamond mounted on it and the other was a slim band. Both had a garland of roses etched into the gold. As Tad picked up the box, his face took on a faraway look.
“Mom’s rings.” he said as he picked them out of the box. “I haven’t seen these in forever.” He held them up toward the overhead light. “I forgot you had them.”
Spider nodded.
“And now you’re going to give them to Tracy?” Tad replaced the rings and slid the box back to his brother.
“Just the engagement ring. I’m giving you the other one.” Spider held out the ring.
Tad’s mouth dropped open. “Me?”
“Yeah. I figured it’s what Mom would have wanted.”
Tad took the ring, studied it again, then put it into his front right pocket. “Thanks, Spider.”
He dished a bit more of the casserole onto his plate, then sat back in his chair. “So, I’m going to be an Uncle.”
“Yep.”
“When are you moving out?”
“I thought I’d stay until the end of the month. But the problem is our lease isn’t up for another six months.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s right.” Tad grabbed a handful of tortilla chips from the bag that sat on the table.
“And that’s where things get tricky.” Spider grabbed his own handful. “Can you afford to live here by yourself?”
With his brown eyes fixed on the ceiling above him, Tad made a quick estimation of his monthly expenses. “Yeah, I could afford it but I wouldn’t be able to save like I am now. I suppose I could get a roommate.”
Spider grinned. “Would that roommate’s name happen to be Trixie?”
“Hey! Now you’re talking.” Tad paused as he considered the idea, then shook his head. “No, I’m pretty sure I know how Mr. and Mrs. Belden would feel about that. Running into them or going to the farm would just be too weird. Besides, in this small town, everybody knows everybody else’s business. And I’d rather have them gossiping about the older Webster than the younger one.”
“Thanks, little Bro.”
Tad’s demeanor turned serious. “Yeah, I’d definitely have to consider getting a roommate. And yeah, I’d love to have Trixie here but she’s happy in her own place right now. And it certainly wouldn’t hurt me to learn how to do things on my own.”
“That’s very mature of you. And believe me, I do feel horrible springing this on you.”
“Don’t. I’m excited for you and Tracy. And don’t worry about me and this apartment. I’ll figure something out. There’s got to be a ton of people out there who would want to share an apartment with me.” Tad frowned. “Problem is, I don’t want just anybody. And whoever it is will have to pass my stringent requirements.”
“Stringent requirements? And what are those, beyond having to love sports and willing to eat a lot of pizza and burgers?”
Tad shrugged. “That’s about it. But whoever ends up as my roommate will have to pass Trixie’s background check. By the time he moves in, she'll know his full life history, where he banks, and what his favorite tv show was when he was young.”
“At the minimum.” Spider took a pull of his beer, then continued. “So, any idea who you might get to move in here?”
Tad shook his head. “Not really. There are a few part-time guys at the center who would probably jump at the chance, but I’m not interested in putting up with their shenanigans.”
“Shenanigans?”
“You know, out drinking every night, hungover the next day, always short on cash. No, thank you.”
“Would you feel comfortable posting a notice at the Community College.”
Tad groaned. “Ugh! With my luck, I’d get a total science geek who would want to run weird experiments in the kitchen or use me as a guinea pig for something.”
Sighing, Spider rolled his eyes. “Really?”
“Besides, I don’t want a roommate who will be making plays for Trixie.”
“If you’re worried about that, just don’t let her meet your roommate.”
“Yeah, like that would happen,” muttered Tad as he scooped up a piece of chicken with a tortilla chip.
After refilling their plates, the two tossed around the names of potential roommates, but none of the persons even piqued Tad’s interest. As Tad finished off the bag of tortilla chips, Spider proposed putting a notice on the bulletin board at the Community Center. After pondering the idea for a minute, Tad agreed to the plan.
“That way,” he reasoned, “I’ll have a chance to check out the potential person without him knowing it because I can see the bulletin board from my office. Plus, the applicant would more likely be somebody I’ve seen around.”
“Good point.” Spider tossed his wadded- up napkin into the nearby trashcan, then pushed back his chair. “You’re on clean-up tonight so I’m out. See ya later.”
“Tell Tracy I said hi,” yelled Tad.
“Will do.”
As Spider closed the front door, a strange silence filled the apartment. Tad quickly tidied up the kitchen, then wandered into the living room, where the muted tv still flickered in the unlit room.
“After all these years, it’ll be weird to not be living with Spider.” He sat down in Spider’s favorite recliner. “I’m happy for him, but the Spider and Tad’s awesome adventure is coming to an end. But, boy oh boy, just wait till the next chapter starts.”
Smiling at the thought of the coming baby Tad grabbed his jacket then headed out toward Trixie’s apartment, eager to tell her of the new developments in the lives of the Brothers Webster.
**********
Rapping three times on Trixie’s door, Tad waited impatiently for his girlfriend to respond.
“Trixie! Hurry up.”
“What?” A breathless Trixie opened the door, her blue eyes sparkling and snapping with eager curiosity.
“You’ll never guess what happened?” Tad closed the door behind him, then pulled Trixie to the couch.
“What? Wait, let me guess.” Trixie, her fingernail tapping against her front tooth, pondered a multitude of possibilities. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers.
“I know. You won the lottery and now you’re going to quit your job and travel the country in an RV, taking me along, of course.” She dipped her head coquettishly.
“No. Spider just told me…” Tad stopped and stared at Trixie. “Is that what you’d like to happen? Me win a lottery and then we could travel around in an RV?”
Trixie bounced on the couch. “Sure. Don’t you think that’d be fun? Think of all the adventures we’d have.” She shifted and faced Tad. “I’m assuming that’s not your news. So what is it?”
“Spider and Tracy are expecting.”
“Expecting?”
“Trixie! She’s pregnant!” Tad slapped his forehead in exasperation.
“Pregnant? You’re kidding? No? She’s really pregnant?”
Tad nodded. “Spider just told me tonight. He’s going to move out at the end of the month because they’re getting a bigger place together.”
“When’s the baby due?”
Tad’s eyes widened. “I never even thought to ask. But I’d guess in about three or four months.”
“Are they planning on getting married?”
Tad nodded. “Yes. It sounds like Tracy’s already planning that event.”
Trixie flopped back on the couch. “I can’t believe Spider’s going to be a Dad. I bet he’ll make a great father.”
Tad grinned. “He’s had a lot of practice with me.”
Trixie giggled. “After raising you, I’m surprised he even wanted any kids.”
“Hey! I wasn’t that bad.” Tad settled back against the soft cushions. “But now, with Spider moving out, I have to find a roommate.”
“A roommate?”
“Yeah. You know. Somebody to share the rent and utilities with and maybe cook dinner now and then. Got any ideas?”
Trixie, silently studied her apartment floor for several seconds before finally stammering, “Uh, Tad...I’m not…”
Chuckling, Tad lifted her chin with his index finger. “Don’t worry. I’m not looking for you to move in. Do I want that? Absolutely! But I don’t think either you or I are ready for that, at least not at this exact moment.”
Trixie exhaled loudly. “Okay. But for a minute, I did consider it. Really, I did.”
“Spider and I talked about it and I think I’m going to advertise for a roommate by posting an ad on the bulletin at the Community Center.”
“Hmm...I guess that’d work.”
“And then I’ll wait and see what happens.”
“What if nobody responds to your ad?”
Tad looked incredulous. “Why wouldn’t anybody want to room with me? I can cook hamburgers, recite the entire lineup of several major league baseball teams and make all the laundry some weird, gray color. I’m a prize roommate.”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “Those are great selling points, Webster. Now, when people answer your ad, let me know their names so I can check them out online.”
“I figured you’d say that. In fact, I told Spider that would be your first reaction.”
“Oh! You think you know me that well?” Huffing loudly, Trixie folded her arms across her chest.
“Oh, yeah Belden. I think I know you that well.”
Trixie frowned. “You know, maybe I won’t run a check and then you’ll get stuck with a roommate who has really stinky feet, eats a lot of limburger cheese, and only watches boring documentaries or soap operas on TV, especially during baseball season.”
“Haha! Very funny. Remember, whoever lives with me will also, by extension, become acquainted with you.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” Trixie shrugged. “Oh well, I’m ready whenever you get a viable candidate.”
“Viable candidate? Did you see Mart today?” asked Tad, referencing Trixie’s brother who had an extreme fondness for obscure words.
“Yes. He and Imogene had a meeting over lunch today. And I’ll tell you this: Imogene’s very pleased with how the garden store is doing. It has exceeded her expectations and Mart’s.” Trixie continued, trying to imitate Imogene’s clipped voice. “I can’t believe how Mart did this and wasn’t it wonderful that Mart thought about that.” Trixie frowned as she recalled how Imogene had carried on after the meeting. “I swear, she thinks Mart’s the best business partner ever!”
“To be fair, he is doing well.” Tad stroked Trixie’s arm. “Everytime I drive by the garden center, the parking lot is packed. And, clearly, Mart’s not the only Belden she thinks of highly. Imogene did make you the manager of the antique shop.”
“That’s true.” Trixie went to her desk and grabbed her laptop computer. “Should we start working on your ad?”
“Yep. Spider’s leaving at the end of the month.”
Trixie, opened the computer, then held her fingers over the keyboard. “Let’s have it.”
“The ad?”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “Of course, the ad. We’ll get to the other stuff later.” Giving Tad a promising wink, Trixie started typing as Tad dictated his requirements for any potential roommate.
**********
The next day Tad tacked up the carefully prepared ad on the bulletin board that sat directly across from his office.
“This is perfect,” Tad murmured as he settled himself behind his desk. “Now all ll I have to do is keep my eye on the lobby. That shouldn’t be too hard”
But as the day wore on, an overflowing toilet, a sprained ankle and an absent lifeguard for the pool area, plus other issues kept him away from his office. Catching up on his email a few hours later, he was surprised to find he had received five inquiries in response to his ad but had missed any activity around the bulletin board.
“Great!” he grumbled, “So much for my advantage.”
After reading through the ads, he focused his attention on the most promising one. It read:
I’m very interested in sharing your apartment. I hope to enroll at the community college but, due to circumstances beyond my control, find myself suddenly without a place to live. I’m neat and helpful and am a good cook. Please give me a call and let me know if we can meet. I’m very eager to resolve my situation ASAP. Thank you, T. Katt
Tad punched in the number at the end of the message, then waited while the phone rang four times before the generic voicemail asked him to leave a message. He gave his name and asked the applicant to meet him at seven o’clock that night in his office at the community center.
After receiving a short text message a short time later confirming the appointment, Tad got back to work at various tasks around the center. Shortly before seven, he returned to his office where he sat anxiously in his chair while keeping a watch on the front door. His interest piqued when a young man with dreadlocks dangling down to his waist and tattoos circling his neck walked in and hesitantly looked around the lobby.
“Hmmm...” murmured Tad. He stood up and walked to the door of his multi-windowed office. But before he could call out to the young man, a boy ran up.
“Uncle Kenny!” the boy shouted. “Let’s go get something to eat. I’m starved.”
The man grinned, ruffled the boy’s hair, then the two turned and walked out.
Noting that it was now a bit after seven, Tad checked his phone to see if he had received any additional messages from the potential roommate, but found nothing. Caught up in his scrolling, he failed to keep an eye on the lobby until the sound of a throat being cleared interrupted him. Glancing up, his eyes widened and his mouth fell open.
Standing in the doorway to his office was a tall woman with long, shapely legs. She had dark wavy hair that cascaded down her back and was wearing tiny satin shorts and stiletto heels. Stacks of bracelets covered each wrist and chandelier earrings glistened above her buffed shoulders. Her overpowering perfume filled Tad’s tiny office, threatening to cut off his oxygen supply.”
“C...can I help you?” stammered Tad.
“Are you the one looking for a roommate?” the woman asked in a breathy voice.
“Uh ...um….”
“So I assume that’s a yes?” the woman arched her heavily penciled brow.
Tad stood up and held out his hand. “Y..yes. I’m Tad Webster.”
Extending her hand, the woman grasped Tad’s and held it tightly. “And I’m Tawny. Tawny Katt.”
“Tawney Katt?” Tad stared at his hand that was firmly encased in a slim one with glittery pink nails at the end of each slim finger.
“That’s right.” She studied Tad intensely. “You know, I see you around here all the time when I come in to work out. I can’t believe you were the one who posted the ad.” She cooed softly. “Living with you would be a dream!” Dropping her sequined covered tote bag on the floor, she wiggled herself into the chair across from Tad’s desk.
“A dream?” Struggling to breath, Tad coughed as he dropped heavily into his own chair.
“You’re so handsome and cute and ...basically yummy.” Tawny sighed. “Why, just waking up everyday would be a treat.”
“Uh, Tawny…”
“And we could even carpool to the center together,” she continued. “And then we could eat together and hang out whenever we want.” She excitedly clapped her hands.
“Uh, Tawny…”
With a wave of her hand, Tawny interrupted Tad. “But before I accept your invitation to room with you, I need to make sure you have plenty of room for my babies.”
“Your babies?” Tad’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
Tawny nodded her head causing her earrings to dance wildly. “I collect teddy bears. Here.” She pulled out her phone and scrolled through it until she found a picture of her large collection.
“That’s a lot of teddy bears,” shuddered Tad after Tawny had shown him several more photos of her bears posed with different backgrounds and outfits.
“Yes, and where I go, my babies go!”
“I see.” Tad shifted awkwardly in his chair.
Tawny blew a kiss at the picture on her phone then returned her attention to Tad. “So, when can I move in?” She adjusted her position and crossed her legs. As she ran her hand up her toned, tanned shin, the stacks of bracelets clinked and clattered.
“Uh…”
“Yes, sweetie?”
Tad scrubbed his chin with his hand. “Uh… I’m not sure you’ll be happy with my apartment.”
Tawny frowned. “Why? It has a kitchen doesn’t it? And I’m assuming it has running water. Besides, I’m a great roommate. I’m neat and a good cook plus I’m good company. You can ask the other guys I’ve lived with.”
“Other guys?”
Tawny’s eyes lit up. “You’ve heard of the New York Jets, right? I lived with a lot of the players from that team.” She ran her hand through her long locks and sighed. “They’re all so nice.”
“You’ve lived with a lot of football players?”
“Yes. And those guys are really built, if you know what I mean,” she raised one perfectly arched eyebrow at Tad.
Lips pursed, Tad nodded. “I see. Well, the thing about my apartment is that it isn’t very fancy. You won’t even have a bathroom connected to your room.”
Tawny twirled her hair around one of her fingers. “Hmm...that might be a problem because I prefer to air dry after I shower.”
Tad made a garbled choking noise.
“Are you okay?”
Unable to speak, he nodded.
“Good. I can’t wait to move in. I hate having to find a place to live.”
“Do you move around a lot?” asked Tad, his fingers nervously drumming the top of his desk.
“Yes.” Tawny’s eyes fell and she sniffed. “Sadly,with the guys, everything would be going swell until the he got a girlfriend. Then I was out the door.” She shook her hair back then snapped her sparkly talons. “Yes. Poof! Just like that, I was asked to leave.”
Tad cleared his throat. “I see. Well, I’ll keep all your information but before I make a decision, I have to meet with several other applicants. I’m sure you understand.” He stood up. “And in the meantime, you keep searching for a place to live. I bet you’ll be able to find a nicer one than mine.” Tad moved to his door and opened it, hoping Tawny would take the hint and see that the interview was over.
She stood up and moved to within a few inches of Tad’s face. “Tell me,” she said in her breathy voice. “Do you have a girlfriend? Or is it my babies?”
Tad met her stare and nodded. “I have a girlfriend.”
Tawny’s glossy lips turned into a pout. “Then I won’t bother waiting to hear from you.”
With a dramatic turn and flip of her hair, she grabbed her sequined tote bag and clattered out of Tad’s office and out of the Community Center.
Shaking his head in disbelief, Tad sat back down and dropped his head onto his desk where he repeatedly pounded it on the surface. “I’m a dead man cuz Trixie’s gonna kill me,” he moaned.
Tad deleted her message from his email then scrolled through to see if any new interested persons had contacted him. Frustrated by his empty mailbox, Tad closed up his office and left, mumbling to himself as he practiced how he would tell Trixie about the first respondent. But no matter how he presented the interview, he knew Trixie would not be pleased.
Back at his apartment, Tad made himself a thick sandwich. Balancing a can of soda on his plate, he went into the living room to watch the daily sports recap in an attempt to settle himself before heading to Trixie’s. When he was done with his uncomplicated dinner, he grabbed his jacket and left the apartment. But en route, he made a spontaneous detour to the supermarket to purchase a bouquet of bright, cheery flowers to take with him.
Arriving at Trixie’s, Tad knocked then took several deep breaths. He panicked when he realized he could still smell Tawny’s strong perfume and quickly sniffed at his arms and shirt to see if it had permeated his clothing. His nose was buried in the armpit when Trixie flung open the door.
“Tad?” she questioned. “What are you doing?”
“Hey, Trix.” Tad dropped his arm then pushed past her into the apartment. He quickly shed his jacket and threw it into the corner next to her antique rocker. Turning, he held out the bouquet. “These are for you.”
Trixie looked at the flowers, then her eyes narrowed. “What’d you do?”
“Do?” responded Tad nervously. “What kind of question is that? I just thought you’d like some fresh flowers.”
“Uh-huh.” Trixie took the flowers and disappeared. A minute later, she reappeared with the long stems shoved into a tall, plastic cup that bore the logo of a local fast food restaurant.
“So,” she asked as she set the arrangement in the middle of her dining room table, “are you going to tell me what you did?”
Tad sighed. “I didn’t do anything. But, hey, I did get several, actually five, responses to my ad today. And I’m really going to need your help because I was busy and never saw anybody at the bulletin board so my plan to see them first was an epic fail.”
“Five! That’s great.” Trixie leveled her gaze at Tad. “But you still haven’t told me what you did that resulted in me getting flowers.”
“I didn’t do anything. I promise.”
“I’ll be the one to make that decision.”
“Trixie, I swear, I didn’t do anything.”
Trixie slowly walked over to the couch and sat down next to Tad. “Okay. But I’m still keeping my eye on you.”
“Fine,” responded Tad somewhat grumpily.
“So you got five responses? That’s pretty good for the first day. Do you want me to check anybody out?”
“Maybe eventually.”
“All you have to do is give me a name.”
“I know but I think I’ll have to actually meet them before I can give you any information.”
Trixie chewed at her bottom lip “That’s true. So, did you contact any of the people who replied, like maybe the most promising one?”
Tad nodded before slowly answering, “Yeeessss”
“And...”
“We had a short meeting.”
“A short meeting? So you had an actual interview? Why didn’t you tell me? How’d it go? Did you like him? Do you think he’ll be a good roommate?” Trixie’s questions rolled off her tongue in rapid succession.
Tad propped his feet on the ottoman he and Trixie had made a few months earlier. “Well...uh ...um…see...um…”
Trixie’s curiosity blossomed. “Come on, Tad. If you’re worried about him, just give me his name and I’ll get right to work. But, if he was the most promising, then I would think I wouldn’t have to do a lot of research. Did he have references?”
Chewing on his thumbnail, Tad nodded. “As a matter of fact, references were discussed.”
“Perfect.” Trixie smiled. “I’ll check on those too.”
Tad threw up his hands then dropped them weakly next to his thighs. “I give up. If you want to check the references, I believe you’d have to talk to a lot of the players for the New York Jets.”
Trixie’s eyes grew large as her face lit up. “Your potential roommate is a pro football player?”
“Not quite.”
“An announcer! Your next roommate does commentary!” Trixie quivered with excitement. “You should have him make your voicemail message. That’d be so cool.”
Tad winced. “Not exactly an announcer either.”
“A coach?”
Tad shook his head.
“An equipment manager?”
“Nope.”
“A parking lot monitor?” Trixie’s voice had lost its original enthusiasm.
Tad, his lips pursed, shook his head again.
Trixie sat back and folded her arms across her chest. “I thought you said this applicant was a football player.”
Tad shifted his position. “No. I never said that. I said the applicant had lived with many of the Jets’ players.”
“How does he know all those guys?”
“I never said it was a he.” Holding his breath, Tad screwed his eyes shut and waited.
“A woman!” she sputtered as her face reddened. “You interviewed some woman to live with you?”
Sighing,Tad dropped his head onto his chest. “Yes, it was definitely a woman.”
Trixie punched his arm. “Your first applicant, the one you said was the most promising, turned out to be a woman who has lived with several members of the Jets’ football team?”
Tad nodded.
“And why would these guys want to live with this woman?” Trixie’s foot rapidly jiggled up and down.
Tad shrugged. “Heck if I know. I wouldn’t want to live with Tawny.”
“Tawny! Her name is Tawny?” shrieked Trixie. “And you didn’t know, with that name, that she was a woman? You set up an interview with a woman?”
Tad held up his hands. “Let me explain. She sent me an email, but didn't sign her full name. She stated she would be a good roommate because she was neat and was a good cook. Then she added her phone number at the end of the email.”
Trixie’s foot jiggled faster. “Good cook, my ass!”
“And when I called the number she had included, it went to her voicemail.”
“Didn’t the message, ‘Hi. This is Tawny. I’m too busy having fun and cooking to take your call.’ mean anything to you?”
Tad’s lips curved up slightly. “It went to a generic message. I was expecting some guy to walk in and instead this statuesque creature with long…”
“Statuesque creature?” Trixie, jaw clenched, gave Tad a frosty glare.
Tad grabbed her hands and held them tight. “Yes. She was tall and curvy, but not in a good way. And she was wearing so much perfume that I thought I might die right there in my office. And she had long, glittery nails that reminded me of the claws of a hawk.” Tad sat up and pulled Trixie close. “And, what’s even more ridiculous, she was wearing short shorts and stiletto heels? Who dresses like that. Then she told me she had to have enough room for her babies.”
“She has kids?” Trixie pulled back, a shocked look on her face.
“No. She has a ginormous teddy bear collection.”
“Teddy bear collection? How old is she?”
Tad sighed loudly. “I have no idea. And I don’t want to know. I was just glad she left my office.”
Trixie settled into Tad’s arms. “Are you sure?” she sulked.
“Yes.” Tad tucked the top of Trixie’s head under his chin. “I have the perfect woman and she’s all I could ever want.”
“So, what did you tell her?” Trixie threw her leg over Tad’s and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I told her I had to look at other applicants and that she shouldn’t turn down any other offers that might come her way.”
“How did she take that?”
Tad shrugged. “She said she’d heard that before, that she always was asked to leave whenever her roommate got a girlfriend.”
Trixie cocked her head. “She’s that bad?”
Tad chuckled. “Oh yeah, and then some.”
She settled herself back in Tad’s arms. “What are you going to do now?”
Tad looked at Trixie in surprise. “What did you do when you were a kid working on your mysteries, but the first clue didn’t pan out?”
“Go to my next clue.”
“And that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go to the next most promising applicant.”
Trixie sat up and started to speak, but Tad placed his finger on her lips. “I know. I know. The first thing I’m going to find out is if the applicant is a male or female.”
“The very first thing,” ordered Trixie.
“Belden, you’re not going to let me forget this, are you?”
Trixie’s curls bounced back and forth. “Nope.”
“Any way I can change your mind?” Tad’s mouth brushed Trixie’s ear.
“Maybe.”
“I’ve had a rough day but I’ll give it my best shot.”
************
:
Spider was pouring his second cup of coffee when Tad entered the kitchen the next morning.
“Hey! Any luck from the ad you posted?” he asked as he sat back down at the table.
“Ugh,” groaned Tad. “Don’t remind me.”
“Is that a yes or a no? Good or bad?”
“Unfortunately, I got a response.” Tad took a coffee mug from the cabinet above the counter and filled it with the steaming brew. “Which I immediately nixed after the interview.”
“That bad, huh?” Grabbing his toast that had popped up from the toaster, Spider sat down at the table and proceeded to slather it with grape jelly.
Tad sat down across from his brother. “It was worse than bad.”
“What was the applicant like? A total slob? A neat freak? A partier?”
Tad shook his head. “Nope. It was a tall, bodacious female complete with stiletto heels and tiny shorts.”
Spider’s mouth dropped open and his knife clattered to the table. “You’re kidding?”
Tad shook his head.
“Then why did you even meet with her?”
“I didn’t know the applicant was a woman.” Tad got up and popped two pieces of bread into the toaster.
“Didn’t know?” Spider raised one eyebrow questioningly. “Did you sleep a lot during health class?”
“No.” Tad glared at his brother. “I know what a woman is. But she didn’t mention that in her reply. Nevertheless, I took Tawny off the list of potential roommates.”
Spider choked on his coffee. “Tawny? That was her name?”
Tad growled softly at his brother.
“And that name didn’t tip you off when you read her response?” Spider couldn’t keep a smirk off his face.”
“No, she just signed it 'T. Katt'.” Tad got out a plate and slammed it on the counter.
Spider snickered. “T.Katt? Her name was Tawny Katt?”
“Yeah. And that’s the end of the discussion.” As soon as his toast popped up, Tad grabbed it and generously smeared it with peanut butter before sitting back down at the table.
“Did you tell Trixie about Tawny?” Spider took a long sip of his coffee.
“Yes and, need I remind you, the discussion is over.” Taking a large bite of his toast, Tad laboriously chewed it, effectively ending side of the conversation.
“Hmmm. Well, you’re still alive and you’re not moping around so I take it Trixie took the Tawny thing all right,” pushed Spider.
“Eventually and the discussion is still over.” Tad scowled at his brother, sending Spider into a laughing fit that continued while he rinsed his dishes and stacked them in the dishwasher. After collecting his service weapon from his bedroom closet, Spider left.
“See ya later,” he called, “And if I run into Trixie today, I’ll be sure to ask her about it.”
Before Tad could shout back, the front door closed with a slight bang.
“Don’t bother,” groused Tad sourly. “She’ll probably tell you all about it before you can even open your mouth.”
Tad crammed the rest of his peanut butter toast into his mouth, washed it down with his coffee, then shoved his mug into the dishwasher. With a firm shut of the front door, he left the apartment, his fingers crossed that the next applicant, whoever it was, would be better.
After getting settled at work, Tad sent an email to another potential roommate. After making certain that the candidate was indeed a male, Tad again suggested meeting at the Community Center at seven o’clock. But as seven o’clock approached, Tad had to attend to the men’s locker room where several rambunctious boys had smeared soap all over the mirrors.
While he was out, Trixie breezed into the center in hopes of getting in a quick workout. Disappointed at finding Tad’s office empty and not knowing where he was, she sat down behind his desk to jot him a quick note. Just as she was finishing, a male voice spoke from the open office doorway.
“Oh, baby. This must be my lucky day.”
Trixie’s head popped up then her eyes grew large and her mouth gaped open.
“Ex...ex...excuse me?” she squeaked.
“I said this must be my lucky day,” repeated a tall, muscular man who had a large, overstuffed gym bag slung over one shoulder.
Trixie’s eyes traveled up and down the body of the man. He was well over six feet tall with biceps that bulged from underneath his tight t-shirt and calves that fanned out above his athletic shoes. His well-tanned skin had a slight sheen to it and his hair was fashionably tousled and smelled of a recent application of some coconut-scented product.
“C…c... can I help you?” stammered Trixie.
“I’m here about the apartment.” Winking suggestively, the man smiled at Trixie.
“The apartment? What apartment?” The pen she was holding slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor.
“The one in the ad that’s on the bulletin board.” The man moved to Trixie's side and squatted down. He pointed to the board across from Tad’s office. “You can actually see the ad from here. I was supposed to meet you right here at seven o’clock.”
“Oh, yeah. That apartment. Um ...yeah.” Trixie nervously began folding and refolding the note she had just written Tad.
“Do you mind if I sit down?” The man dropped his bag onto the floor and squished himself into the small chair opposite the desk.
“Uh...sure. Help yourself.” Trixie waved towards the chair but the man had already taken it.
“So, Tad, tell me about the apartment. Is there a workout room? Maybe even an outdoor running path?”
Trixie shook her head. “No,” she answered slowly. “No workout room. No running path.”
“What about a green space? I love to work out while catching a few rays.”
Trixie winced slightly. “No, I wouldn't call the parking lot a green space, unless there are a lot of green cars in it.” Giggling nervously, Trixie ran a hand through her tousled curls then tucked them behind her ears.
“Hey, you’re a real cutie. I bet we’ll get along just fine.” The man gave Trixie another wink.
“Uh, uh ...,” replied Trixie.
Hearing Tad’s approaching footsteps, she looked up as he entered the small office.
“Oh, hey, Trixie, I’ll be ready to leave after my ….” He stopped when he saw the bronzed and buffed Adonis sitting in the chair.
“Are you here about the apartment?” Tad asked the man.
He pointed to Trixie. “Yep. And me and Tad are working out the details for us living together.”
“You and Tad?” Tad stared at Trixie, whose face was now rapidly turning several different shades of red.
“I’m afraid there’s been a mix-up,” said Tad. “She isn't Tad. I am. She's Trixie, my girlfriend.
“I’m Franco Malone.”
The two shook hands. Tad looked at Trixie, who was still sitting in his chair. “Trixie?”
“Huh?” Trixie’s head snapped up.
“Did you want to ask him any questions?”
Silently, she shook her head, then stood up. “I guess I’ll let you two talk. See you later.” With a limp wave of her hand, Trixie moved slowly out of Tad’s office while Franco’s eyes never left her slowly retreating form.
“Ahem.” Tad cleared his throat loudly. “So, you’re interested in the apartment?”
“Well, there seems to be some confusion,” answered Franco. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. “Will I be living with you or the cute little blond cuz I’m all for living with that cute little blond.”
“No. I told you. She’s my girlfriend and you’ll be sharing the apartment with me.”
“Why aren’t you sharing your apartment with your girlfriend?” Franco grinned at Tad. ”Because if she was my girl, that’s where I’d have her.”
“Because ...because…. That’s really none of your business.” Tad frowned at the man then brusquely moved behind his desk and sat down.
“I see. Well, Trixie said you don’t have a workout center or a green space.”
With his brow furrowed in confusion, Tad nodded. “That’s right.”
“Then how do you work out? You do work out, don’t you?”
Tad waved his hand toward the brightly lit facility outside his door. “I work out here.”
Franco looked at the lobby. “Really? But it’s so limiting. And where do you tan?
“I don’t.”
“Interesting. You don’t tan. So let’s talk about food.”
“What?” Squeezong his eyes tight, Tad rubbed his temples. “Food?”
“Yeah. I only eat smoothies. In fact, I make my own out of a special protein powder, wheat germ, kale, spinach, and raw cow’s milk. Throw in a few cruciferous vegetables and you have quite a feast. I prefer to prepare a whole bunch at once so they’re ready when I want one. And I don’t like anybody messing with them.” Franco gave Tad a stern look.
Tad swallowed hard. “I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that.”
“Also, I have three different weight benches. I might have to set a couple up in the living room. You have enough space, don’t you?” Franco flexed his right arm. “Can you believe I can press almost 300 pounds?” He rubbed his rippling bicep lovingly.
“Uh...no.”
“And, occasionally, you’ll need to be my spotter. That’s cool, right, Bro?”
“Bro?” Tad watched as Franco, using the reflection from one of his windows, fussed with his hair.
“And I assume I’ll have my own bath. Nothing like soaking away a day’s worth of bodybuilding in a nice hot tub.”
“Huh?” Franco’s list of demands had morphed from a slight annoyance into a full-blown irritation.
“One more thing, you don’t have a cat, do you? Because, to be brutally honest, I’m not only allergic to them but also afraid of them.”
Latching onto Franco’s statement, Tad sighed in relief. “Yes. I do have a cat. In fact, I have three of them. They’re the cutest little things. They like to hang out on the kitchen counter while I’m cooking and then at night, they like to sleep with me, all snuggled down under my covers. They'll probably do the same with you.”
Franco picked up his stuffed gym bag and stood up. “Sorry, that’s a deal breaker for me, Bro. I’m out. Too bad, cause I was really looking forward to getting to know that cute little blond. Oh, well.” Franco hefted his gym bag onto his shoulder, then walked out of Tad’s office.
Tad’s head dropped onto the back of his chair. “Whew!” He closed his eyes for a few minutes then sat back up. Fingering Trixie’s mangled note on his desk, he grinned. “Ah, yes, Belden. I’m going to enjoy this.”
Bounding out of his office, Tad went in search of Trixie. He found her running on a treadmill, her phone strapped on her arm with its earplug cords dangling across her chest.
“Hey, there’s that little cutie,” said Tad in a loud voice.
Trixie stopped and pulled out one of the plugs. “What? Little cutie? Why are you calling me that?”
Tad grinned and waggled his dark brows up and down. “That’s what Franco kept calling you. The name does indeed fit you.”
“So he’s another one of your promising applicants?” Trixie took out the other ear plug and glared at Tad in disgust.
Tad nodded his head.
“And you decided to go with him?” Trixie chewed her bottom lip. “You know, I don’t think he’s a good choice. Besides, he wanted a workout room and green space and will probably eat all your food and take tons of showers….”
Tad shrugged.
Trixie stepped off the treadmill. “Really, Tad? You really want to live with that guy. I mean, was he gorgeous? Yes, in a phony, ego-maniacal sort of way. But he was so obnoxious, Gleeps, he could put Mart to shame. And he kept smiling at me and winking and... he was just a total creep in a built up body.” She stopped.
“And…” Tad looked at Trixie.
“And…” Trixie shuddered. “I don’t want to be around him.” She looked into Tad’s eyes. “If he’s going to live with you, then I’ll just have to avoid your place at all costs.”
“I thought you liked him. You seemed a bit, how should I say it, smitten?”
“Smitten? By that man? Are you kidding me?”
“Yes.”
“Really, Tad.” Trixie stomped her foot. “That man thinks so highly of himself that it’s sickening. I bet he would want you to bow down to him and tell him how great he is and junk like that. Gleeps, Tad. Don’t you think you could find somebody better to room with?”
“Yes.” Tad grinned mischievously at Trixie.
“So, he’s not going to be your roommate?”
“Nope.”
“Really?”
Tad nodded. “And if anybody asks, just say you adore my three cats.”
“Your three cats?” Trixie scratched her head. ”How long has it been since I’ve been at your place because I’m pretty sure there weren’t any cats the last time I was there.”
Shaking his head, Tad smiled down at Trixie. “There weren’t. But Franco just couldn’t live with me if I had cats. So I told him I had three.”
Trixie’s eyes sparkled as she pointed an accusing finger at her boyfriend. “You lied.”
“Yep.”
“You still don’t have a roommate, you know.”
“I’ll find one. But it won’t be Franco.”
“Or Tawny.” Trixie climbed back onto the treadmill. “Give me another fifteen minutes, then I’ll be done. I say we go to Wimpy’s to celebrate.”
“What are we celebrating?” asked Tad.
“No Franco and no Tawny.” Trixie started her rhythmic pounding.
“Deal. See you in a bit.” Whistling under his breath, Tad walked away then returned to Trixie’s side. “By the way,” he whispered as he removed her earplugs. “We’re even.”
Trixie stopped running and looked at Tad in amazement. “Even?” She shook her head and grinned smugly. “Not even close.”
Before Tad could respond, Trixie replaced her earplugs and started running again, ignoring the exasperated look on her boyfriend’s face. Word Count - 7970 Author’s notes: I claim no ownership of Trixie, Tad and the rest of the gang. I big thank you to my sister, Judith, for her editing and encouragement and to my DD for her final editing. Picture by me! Background by Vivian.
Froot Loops - a sweetened, fruit flavored breakfast cereal produced by Kellogg’s.
Craigslist - a classified advertisements website.
