AKA

Least Successful VS. Ultimate Achievers

Diana and Mart wandered into the living room of the apartment Mart shared with Tad Webster and dropped on the couch.

“I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do tonight.  But I didn’t think you’d mind doing something with Trixie and Tad,” said Diana matter-of-factly.

Mart winced.  “Trixie and Tad? Didn’t we just see them last Saturday at the Friendsgiving Feast? And don’t I see Tad almost every morning at the breakfast table?”

Sitting up abruptly, Diana shrugged off Mart’s arm. “Mart! You may get to see them

everyday but I don’t.  Besides, it’s always interesting when we’re together and I was in the mood for a group activity.” She paused, frowning slightly. “Honey’s back in the city and Brian’s off saving lives.”

“You forgot Jim.”

“Oh, yeah. He has so many meetings scheduled that he has no time.  So, for tonight, it’s you and me and Trixie and Tad. I invited Dan but he said he was busy.”

“That’s right, he is.”  Mart propped his feet on the coffee table and wagged them back and forth.  “Did you know he’s getting some kind of an award tonight?  I’m not sure what it’s for, but I bet he’s happy.” Mart tapped his chin with his index finger.   “You know, it had to be quite challenging for Dan when we were in high school and we got various recognitions and acknowledgements while Dan received nothing. Of course, he rarely ventured too far from the preserve so…” He shrugged.

Diana relaxed against her boyfriend.  “Like I said, I’m in the mood for a group activity and Tad and Trixie are always fun to hang with.”

“An opinion I may or may not share with you.  But to be honest, I was hoping we could binge on that science show I’ve been watching.  I find it extremely enlightening and educational.  I thought you might enjoy it too.”

Diana sat up straight and stared at Mart through narrowed eyes. “Seriously?  Do I look like a girl who would  want to watch a science show that is enlightening and educational?”

“But, honey, you’ll learn things without even realizing you’re learning them. In fact, I’m beginning to think I may have missed my calling. Imagine, I could have been a chemist or neuroscientist.”

“You definitely have the vocabulary for it.”

“I do, don’t I?” Mart smiled proudly. “But don’t you think we deserve some mutually beneficial time alone without one specific buttinsky named Trixie?”

Diana looked up at her boyfriend.  “Mart, you seem kind of testy tonight. Are you still upset about your Friendsgiving fiasco?”

“Fiasco?” Mart grabbed his chest and gasped. “Who said it was a fiasco?”

Before Diana could reply, Tad and Trixie burst through the front door and into the apartment.

“Hey, guys!” cried Trixie.  “What’s on the agenda for tonight?”

“We were just discussing that,” answered Diana, giving Mart a warning pat on his arm.

Trixie and Tad hung their coats on the coat rack, then sat down, Trixie next to Diana on the couch and Tad in the massaging recliner.

Mart tried again with his preferred program. “There’s this really cool science series with which I’ve been extraordinarily intrigued. I’ve been absorbing knowledge about all types of theories regarding the universe.”

“No.” said Trixie firmly. “Just no.”

“Yeah,” added Tad.  “I’ve been in the room when it’s on.  Let’s just say that, unless you want to spend an evening learning about theories and hypotheses that have ridiculous sounding names, you should definitely skip that program.”

“I know. Let’s play a game,” said Diana.

“How about Scrabble?” suggested Mart.

“No!” said Tad, Trixie, and Diana in unison.

“Okay.  How about Bananagrams?”

Again, the response was a loud no.

“Boggle?”

Trixie, Tad and Diana shook their heads.

“Okay.  I know you’ll all want to play Apples to Apples.” Mart, eyebrows raised, looked at his friends who again shook their heads in response to his suggestion.

“Upwards!” shouted Mart.  “It’s my new favorite game.  You all will love it.”

“How do you play it?” asked Trixie suspiciously.

Mart held out his hands.  “It’s basically Scrabble, only you create new words by stacking the tiles.”

“Then, no.” replied Trixie.

Mart looked disappointed.  “But I don’t have any other games based on the fundamentals of the spoken language.”

“Good,” said Trixie with a firm nod of her head.  “Any other ideas?”

“How about a board game?” suggested Diana.

“Monopoly?” replied Mart. “Ooh, how about Risk? Or Trivial Pursuit? Unlike you girls, I will now rock all the science questions.”

“Unlike us girls?” questioned Trixie threateningly.

Mart shrugged.  “Well, it is science. So, how about it?”

“No!” said the group again in unison.  

“I’ve got it!  How about Pictionary??  I love Pictionary,” gushed Diana.

“That’d be fun,” agreed Trixie.  “And I love watching Mart draw his stick figures. Tad?”

“I’m in.”

While Diana and Trixie cleared the cluttered coffee table, Tad ran to his room and searched through his closet. When he returned, he was carrying two easels and two dry erase boards.

“Those are perfect,”  exclaimed Diana as she slipped off her shoes and tucked her legs underneath her.  

“Yep.  Good thing I forgot to return them to the Community Center when I was done with them.”

A disgruntled Mart searched through the tv console for the well-used game of Pictionary while Trixie and Tad set up the dry erase boards.  “Can we ever play a  game that I want to play,” he muttered as he pushed aside his beloved stack of games.  “No. I never get to have any fun.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t return these,” remarked Trixie, choosing to ignore her brother’s mumbling. “Didn’t anybody miss them or wonder where they were?”

Tad made one final adjustment on his easel then stepped back.  “Nope. They trust me implicitly. Besides, if somebody needed them, all I had to do was run home and grab them.”

“Does anybody want anything to eat,” interrupted Diana.

“In a bit,” answered Tad.  “Trixie and I just finished eating dinner.”

“So,” said Mart with a sly grin. ``If we’re going to have to play Pictionary, then let’s at least make it a bit more interesting.”

“How?” asked Diana.

“By having the least successful participants take the ultimate achievers out to dinner at the eatery of their choice.

“Why can’t we just have a friendly game between friends?” frowned Diana. “Does everything always have to be a competition for you?”

“No, not always.” Mart opened the Pictionary box and got out the supplies. After shuffling the game cards, he set them out on the coffee table.

“Seriously, Mart,” added Trixie as she got out some markers. “Can’t you just relax and have some fun for once?”

“Of course.  It’s just that sometimes winning matters, but I’m sure, my younger and less advanced sibling is unaware of that.” He shoved the box aside and stood up.  “But, I do know someone whom I suspect is having a lot of fun tonight."

“Who?” Trixie looked puzzled.

“Dan, of course,” answered Mart smugly. “Who else would be having fun tonight?  Obviously he’s not stuck playing Pictionary.”

Trixie scowled at her brother. “Why is Dan having fun?”

“He’s getting some award tonight,” explained Diana.

“Ooh, how exciting.  I wish we’d known.  We could have planned to be there for him.”  Trixie toed out of her shoes and settled on the couch next to Diana.

 

“You know,” lamented Mart. “I am very disappointed that I won’t be able to celebrate Dan’s accomplishment tonight.”

“Me too,” agreed Diana.  “But we’ll see him tomorrow.”

“Yes,” continued Mart.  “But it’s just in all the years I’ve known him, he’s never had the opportunity to receive my admiration. I was excited to see the look on his face when that finally happened.”

Trixie shook her head at her brother in disgust. “You’re unbelievable.”

Mart smirked.  “I know.”

Tad moved between the battling siblings.  “All right.  Pictionary.  What are the teams?”

Noting Mart’s cocky and arrogant attitude, Trixie’s eyes narrowed.  “How about guys versus girls?”

Mart, straightening one of the easels, pivoted.  “Ooh, That hardly seems fair.” He sighed loudly.   “Yeah, but I guess that any team I’m not on has a decided disadvantage.”

Trixie rolled her eyes.  “Once again, unbelievable.”

Mart bowed slightly to his sister.  “Once again, I know.”

With the easels in place, the four decided that Trixie and Mart would draw first.  

Diana shifted on the couch in anticipation of what Trixie might draw while Tad  flopped in the recliner. Trixie picked up a game card and studied it.

“All right.  Round one.” She leaned over and showed Mart the card. “Here.”

Mart nodded his head briskly then turned away.  “Got it.”

Trixie positioned herself in front of her dry erase board. “Okay. Ready. Set. Go.”

She and Mart began to rapidly draw on their boards.  Trixie made many broad strokes while Mart sketched out something in great detail.

Diana watched her friend then started guessing.  “Uh….box”  Uh...window?”

Tad, his head resting on his fingers, called out, “Batman?”

Mart shook his head as he added more figures to his drawing.

“Batman and Robin?” suggested Tad.

Again Mart shook his head.

“Uh...Wonder Twins plus the Monkey?” yelled Tad, referring to a cartoon that was  another of Mart’s other fixations.

Mart kept on sketching, his marker making squeaky noises against the white board.

“Wonder Twins plus the monkey and Batman?”

Diana, her lips tight in a thin line, looked at Trixie’s board where she had added a decoration to the top of what appeared to be a box.  “A gift?” she yelled.  “A present!”

Trixie spun around.  “Present. Yeah!” She high fived her friend.

Mart turned and stared at his roommate.  “Tad, how could you not get that?”

Tad slapped his thigh in frustration.  “In what universe is that a present?” he demanded.

Mart sighed impatiently then began pointing out the various drawings on his board.  “It’s not A present.  It’s THE present. Look, there’s you and me, there’s Trixie and Diana.  We’re playing Pictionary. In the present.”  Mart made huge circular motions over his entire board, then pounded on it with his marker for emphasis.

Trixie and Diana stared at the guys, their mouths hanging open in disbelief.  “Oh my God, we’re gonna kill them,” muttered Trixie.

The two Beldens sat down while Tad and Diana took their places at the easels.  When they both had read the card, Trixie set the timer and the drawing began.

Mart wiggled excitedly.  “It’s a quark- gluon plasma,” he said.

Tad rolled his eyes.  “No.”

“It’s asymptotically free partons inside a quark-gluon plasma.”

“Nothing with quarks,” replied Tad testily.

“It’s an observational rebuttal of the Lambda CDM model of the universe,” Mart yelled.

“No!”

Leaning forward, Trixie watched as Diana drew a big circle then began adding dots inside of it.

“It’s a chocolate chip cookie,” she yelled gleefully.

Diana spun around.  “Yes!”

Tad capped his marker and dropped it on the table. “How could you miss that?”

“Hey, if you want someone to guess a chocolate chip cookie, you draw a glass of milk next to it.”

“Trixie got it.” Tad pointed to his smiling girlfriend.

“Only after I eliminated all the obvious answers.” Mart turned toward his sister.  “You’re welcome.”

The next round started with Trixie and Mart reading the card.  Mart hopped over to his board and immediately began drawing.

Tad stared at the white board. “Uh….uh….a sausage?”

Mart turned around, an eager look on his face.  Using his hands, he motioned for  Tad to keep guessing.

Tad swayed back and forth in an attempt to see around Mart who was blocking the easel. “Uh….uh...a bratwurst.  Oh!  Oh! Oh! A hotdog.”

Diana watched the two then looked at Trixie’s board.  Immediately, she looked worried.  “Trixie, aren’t you going to draw something?”

Trixie smiled and waved toward Diana.  “Relax.  We got time.” She tapped the marker against her head.  “This is so fun.”

Meanwhile, Mart drew a big circle, added some details inside it then stepped back, giving Tad visual access to the board. “There.”

Tad’s mouth dropped open a bit.  “A solar system? A...a...a...an unidentified flying liverwurst.” Tad, frustration growing, ran his hand through his hair.

Diana licked her lips and nodded toward Trixie.  “Now?”

“Soon.” Trixie, her head tilted, studied her brother’s seemingly pointless drawings.

Mart worked at his easel, then stepped back and pointed at his masterpiece that now included a woman who was lying on the floor with a glass in her hands.  “Come on, Tad. I am spoon feeding this to you.”

Tad threw up his hands.  “I don’t know.  Casper the alcoholic ghost?”

Trixie uncapped her marker.  “All right.  That’s enough.”  She quickly drew a hand, added fingernails then filled in one nail and added an arrow that pointed to it.

Diana watched Trixie, calling out guesses.  “Uh..hand. Uh...nail.  Polish!”

“Yeah!” beamed Trixie and she triumphantly high-fived her friend.

“No. No.” protested Mart. The word is Polish.  See, look.” Mart gestured toward his drawings. “Polish sausage. And the model of the solar system that was developed by Nicholas Copernicus, a Polish astronomer.” A nodding Mart emphasized his words as he spoke.  “And finally, if that wasn’t enough, which it should have been, this,” he pointed to the figure lying at the bottom of his drawings,” is Madame Curie killing herself by discovering radium who, although she was a naturalized French citizen, was Polish by birth.”

Mart capped his marker while Trixie and Diana stared at his complicated drawing.  

Smirking, Trixie stepped to Mart and showed him the card. “Excuse me, the word is polish. See, small ‘p.’”

Mart studied the game card. “Oh, so it is.” He motioned to Tad. “I guess we both share blame on this one.”

 

Mart tossed his card and marker onto the coffee table.  “Let’s play something else.  This isn’t fair, especially since Diana is such a gifted artist.”

“Really?” Diana frowned at her boyfriend.  “You just can’t say we beat you or that you’re so into your stupid science show that you’re drawing all sorts of goofy pictures that nobody has any idea of what they are?”

Mart piled the cards into the game box, then sat down next to Diana.

“Hey, why don’t we try another game,” suggested Tad.

“What?” asked Trixie.

“Scrabble?” suggested Mart.

“No!” yelled Trixie, Tad and Diana.

“Well, we have to play another game so Tad and I can beat you girls.  Otherwise, we’ll have to buy you dinner.”

“What’s wrong with that?” huffed Diana, glaring at Mart.

Mart shrugged.  “I guess nothing.  But then again, it would be nice to be treated to dinner by my younger sibling.”

Trixie curled her lip at Mart’s arrogance.  “Still unbelievable!”

In an attempt to choose another game, the four tossed out various suggestions, but no game appealed to everybody.  Finally, Tad snapped his fingers and ran into his room.  When he returned, he was carrying two large books with him.  

“What are those?” asked Trixie.

Tad held up the books.  “My Where’s Waldo books. I propose we have a contest as to who can find Waldo first.  And this contest will be fair because these books are exactly alike. One Christmas, I had really gotten into Waldo and Spider and Mrs. V. accidentally got me the same book. Being the bratty child that I was, I refused to return either one.” He smiled sheepishly.

Mart sat up and rubbed his hands together.  “This sounds promising as I excel at finding Waldo.  How should we proceed?”

“Let’s make it an even bigger challenge.”  Trixie thought for a moment then snapped her fingers. “I have it. When wearing sunglasses, somebody will shine a bright light in their eyes.  That will create a  distortion.  Then, click off the light, take off the glasses and search for Waldo.”

Mart nodded approvingly.  “Now, who should search for Waldo?”

Tad raised his hand.  “Since Trixie and Mart started off the last game, why don’t Diana and I start off this one?”

“Okay, but prepare to be out-searched, Webster,” smirked Mart. “Diana is the best at everything she tries.”

Tad stared at Mart.  “Whose team are you on? It's you and me against the girls, buddy.”

Mart puffed out his chest..  “She is my girlfriend. But, in reality, I don’t really care as long as I get a free dinner out of it.”

Diana shook her head at Mart then sat forward and got ready to play. Mart and Trixie pulled out their phones and clicked on the flashlight app.

Tad and Diana put on their sunglasses then sat side by side on the couch and held their Where’s Waldo open to the page they had all had agreed upon . Mart and Trixie shined a flashlight in their eyes for thirty seconds, then closed the app.

 

Trixie clapped her hands.  “Okay.  Glasses off. Find Waldo.”

Squinting in an attempt to get better visual clarity, Tad and Diana rapidly scanned the page in front of them.  

“Hurry! Hurry! Find him,” demanded Mart.

“I’m trying.  Don’t yell at me.”  Tad’s dark eyes darted back and forth across the page.

“For goodness sake,” said Mart impatiently.  “He’s wearing a hat, glasses and a red

 striped shirt.”

“I know what he looks like,” snarled Tad.

Diana’s eyes traveled over the page before landing on a familiar sight.  “Oh, there he is.  I got him.”

Trixie jumped up and down.  “Yeah.  We win again.”

Mart stared at Tad, a disgusted look on his face.  “How could you not find him?”

“Cause he’s hard to find. If he was easy to find, the books would be called “There’s Waldo.” Tad slammed shut his book and tossed it onto the coffee table.

 

“So,” gloated Trixie.  “Do you guys give up and declare Diana and I the winners? Is there a yummy dinner in our future?”

“Never!” yelled Mart, his face red and his eyes snapping.  “We’re just going to have to find another challenge.”

Trixie shrugged.  “Go ahead.  Anybody hungry?”  She headed toward the kitchen.

“Hold up, there, Trixie,” cautioned Tad.  “I have another game that is best played on an empty stomach.”

Trixie came back to the couch and sat down, her curiosity piqued.  

“But first,” said Tad.  “I want to say that I can’t play this one because I’m too prone to motion sickness.”

“Oooh, me too,” echoed Diana. “I guess I’m out.”

“So,  it’s me and Trixie. How fitting!” Mart looked at his sister.  “Perhaps you’ve gotten too cocky in this little competition, oh little sibling, and now you’ll go out on a loss.”

Trixie waved her hand toward her brother.  “Shut up, Mart.  I want to hear how to play this game.  Tad?”

“Well, we need some supplies and fortunately, I have what we need.”

Tad dashed to his room then returned with two baseball bats.

“We’re going to play baseball?” Mart asked. “That doesn’t seem like a prudent choice considering the size of this apartment.”

“It’s kinda like baseball,” answered Tad, Then he laughed.  “No, not really. Not at all.”

He quickly outlined the game, telling Mart and Trixie that they would have to rest their foreheads on the ends of the bats then place the tips of the bats on the floor and spin in a circle for one minute.  After that, they would have to walk to the dry erase board and do a math problem.  

“The beauty of this is that it requires both physical and mental skill,” said Tad.

“Where did you learn this game?” asked Trixie suspiciously.

Tad laughed.  “Just call it another stupid college drinking game.”

Trixie smiled knowingly.  “Thought so.

Diana wrote a math problem on each whiteboard while Tad pushed the coffee table out of the way.  Mart and Trixie each took a bat, leaned over, and placed their foreheads on the end. Then they spun around in circles while Tad counted out a minute, using his phone as a stopwatch.

 

“57….58….59….That’s one minute.” announced Tad.

Mart and Trixie dropped their bats and stumbled and reeled toward the easels.  They both lost their way several times, as they struggled to regain their balance and equilibrium.

Diana nervously monitored Trixie. “Long division.  Long division.” she called to her friend, then inhaled as Trixie lurched toward the coffee table. “No. No,” she warned.

Finally, Trixie and Mart made their way to their respective dry erase boards and picked up their markers.

“Remember,” advised Tad.  “Show your work.”

Mart uncapped his marker and started to write, but all he could produce was a squiggly line that stretched across the board. He tilted and swooned as he tried to focus. “I’m okay. I’m okay,” he assured his friends.

He reached up and grasped the top of the easel in an attempt to steady himself, but  dizziness overtook him and he tumbled to the floor, pulling the easel down with him.

“Not okay,” he corrected as he rolled around on the carpet.

Tad poked his friend.  “Get up.  We can’t lose at math.”

While Mart was trying to stand up, a shaky Trixie was quickly scribbling a series of numbers on her own white board.

“37!” She yelled out triumphantly.

“Yes.”  Diana clapped her hands at her friend’s success.

 

Tad, chuckling, pulled Trixie down next to him on the couch.  “I give up; you two win.  We owe you dinner at the restaurant of your choice.”

“I guess you do,” replied Diana.  “And we aim to collect.”

Mart crawled to the couch and sat down.  “Okay. Okay. I give up…” he pointed a finger at Trixie.  “For today.  And you’ll never know if I allowed you the privilege of proclaiming yourself the victor. I’ll prefer to leave you in a state of perplexed uncertainty.”

Trixie rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly.  “Mart, I don’t think you let us win. I know we won. And I won’t waste any more time thinking about it. So there.” She stuck out her tongue at her brother.

“Now,” interrupted Diana in a bright voice.  “What restaurant do you want to go to, Trixie?”

Trixie thought for a minute.  “You know, I never turn down a good Pad Thai.”

“Ooh, yum,” agreed Diana.

Tad draped his arm actress Trixie’s shoulders and stretched out his long legs.  “How do you think Dan’s evening went?”

“Better than ours, way better than ours,” answered Mart.

“I don’t know about that,” continued Tad.  “I think watching you get beat by Diana and Trixie was better than I could have imagined.”

Mart scowled. “But now we owe them dinner.”

Tad shrugged.  “So, it’s not like we don’t take them out.”

Mart stared at the floor for a minute then looked up. “Fine, but,” he said pointing his finger toward Trixie and Diana, “no gloating.”

Trixie forced an innocent look on her face.  “What?  Would I find it necessary to  remind you that you’re the least successful participant while Diana and I are the ultimate achievers of the evening? Would I do that?”  She placed her hand on her chest and looked shocked.

Mart nodded.  “Always and often.”

His head fell back against the recliner while Diana and Trixie again high-fived each other. Beside his girlfriend, Tad grinned.  “Just another typca evening with the almost twins.”

“Don’t remind me,” groaned Mart.  “Don’t remind me.”

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Author's notes: Apples to Apples - a card game manufactured by Mattel, Inc.

Bananagrams - a game invented by Abe Nathanson that is a fast-paced word game similar to Scrabble.

Boggle - word game using 16 cubic dice.

Monopoly - classic property-trading board game.

Pictionary - a classic “quick draw” game.

Risk - a strategy board game consisting of diplomacy, conflict and conquests.

Scrabble - 3rd most played board game, manufactured by Hasbro

Trivial Pursuit - board game consisting of answering various questions of different subject matters.

Upwards - a stackable Scrabble game that came out in 1983.

A big shout out to my favorite show -The Big Bang Theory,  created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady and aired on CBS.   This story contains parts of the episode “Game Night - Guys VS. Girls. The scenes taken from the show are indicated by the italics.

Thank you to my daughter, Katie, for her editing and commenting and to my sister, Judith, for her editing. Thank you to Vivian for her page set up. Picture by Dreamstsime.

Trixie, Tad, Mart and Diana are owned by and I’m just respectfully borrowing them.

word count - 3880