Angst

Trixie sat up in bed and flipped her pillow over. Throwing herself back down on her bed, she exhaled loudly and stared into the darkness of her room. The crescent moon hanging outside her window did nothing to break the shadowy stillness. She knew that her acceptance letter to college was lying on her desk. She also knew that she had been accepted at the community college. Now she had to decide what to do.

"Argh," Trixie groaned.

She wanted to go to college with Honey and Diana. In her mind, she pictured the three of them deciding what courses they wanted to take, where they wanted to live and what kind of activities they wanted to join. They would decide, after countless discussions and debates, how to decorate their dorm room. They would go on many shopping excursions to gather supplies. After that, they would pack up their cars and ride off to college together. Trixie knew that at some point Honey would complain about her messy habits and Diana would nag her about her clothing choices. It sounded like the adventure of a lifetime.

On the other hand, Trixie knew that if she chose to go away to college with her friends, she would incur a considerable amount of debt. Trixie didn’t want to graduate and start out on her life journey with burdensome loans holding her back. Her parents had a portion of her college expenses set aside, but Trixie would have to help. If Trixie chose to go to the community college, the money that her parents had saved would carry her through. But the thought of going to the community college caused an incredible sense of loneliness to creep into Trixie’s heart. She would be stuck at home, alone, while her friends would be away at college building new lives. At night, Trixie would be reduced to doing dishes, homework and other tedious tasks but her friends would be out meeting new people and experiencing new challenges. Trixie’s existence would basically stay the same. She flipped her pillow over again as fear gnawed away at her. What if, while away at college, Honey changed her mind about wanting to open a detective agency with Trixie some day. Trixie pleaded with the darkness in her room.

"Tell me what to do. Please tell me what to do," she whispered.

Only the silence and darkness answered Trixie’s pleas.